you have to choose: penises or morals?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
