Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
