Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
