Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
