She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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