Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and she was petting her beer can
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
