If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's shark week go big or go home
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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