She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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