At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
