You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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