babies were throwing up all over the place
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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