ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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