Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
