i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
