My first STD was from a foam party
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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