I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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