Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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