also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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