i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
