This girl is more easily done than said...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
