I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
