it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize