Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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