so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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