Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
