i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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