oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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