Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
