I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
