Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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