Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize