were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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