Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
