i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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