Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
