Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
