When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
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