So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
