wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
