I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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