So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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