I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there is puke in my bra ... again
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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