You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
