so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
