I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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