One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
