i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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