and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize