I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
