I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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