No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
