on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
vagina is talking i cant
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
