Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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