is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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