went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
a search helicopter?!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
